Monday, August 11, 2008

Growing Pains

My baby, or I should say my big-boy, Josiah, started kindergarten today. I definitely had mixed feelings. I was SO excited contemplating this blessed event through-out summer. I mean, how can I not get excited having my son learning (which he loves), one less beastie under-foot, more one-on-one time with my other two beasties and less fights to break up. (It IS nice chasing after only 2) Yet as the day neared, my heart hurt and my eyes would tingle. You have to understand I have had Jos with me since he was born. We haven't sent him to pre-school since it didn't seem necessary and when he tested too high intellectually for state-funded pre-K, we decided not to send him private. He has been my little right-hand man for almost six years.

I am so excited for him, because he is so excited. He LOVES learning. From the beginning (just as his blessing proclaimed) he has been filled with a burning curiosity about everything in life. How does this work? How do you spell that? He wants to know everything. Crazy little boy has been writing notes to me on his chalk-board all year long (some are nice such as "I luv yoo mom", or "Im sore"-translated I'm sorry-but many are "yoo r meen"). He is so friendly and loves to make others smile. He chatters and beams. Will he listen? Will he follow the rules and come out on top? I love him, will his teacher love him? I know everything will be just fine, but the questions still bombard.

I want him to keep on growing, but who knew growing pains could be so hard for the Mama? I was one thankful Mama when he clung tightly to my hand down the hall to his classroom-enjoying the fact he needs me and realizing how much I need him, but so happy when meeting his teacher he felt comfortable enough to let go and explore his desk and room. My throat is tight writing this, it could be raging hormones, but my heart feels like it could burst with love, pride and the loss of what was. However, with my eyes to the future I can put aside the pain and I enjoy the growth and development I can see him making with leaps and bounds.

I love you, Josiah. I am proud of who you are and what you will become.

Gotta love this picture. You all can get the full effect of Jos AND experience the viewing pleasure of his school uniform (white shoes???)

His first school paper, crumpled in the bottom of his new red (his favorite color) backpack, of course

17 comments:

nuttynewburns said...

Wow I cant believe he started Kindergarten what a cutie pie! I know what you mean about the white shoes what are they thinking huh! we have them too well Go Josiah!! we miss you guys!! I saw where you mentioned that yall have the lego game Dylan played that at my friends house while we were out of town he loves that game too!! its soo awesome cause you never have a game over that is awesome!! well enjoy your time with the other two!!

Parkes Family said...

Josiah!! did great at school today
I got to pick at the door at his class room and one time I had the chance to go in and talk to him and he look just right at home... sweet smile and so cute!!!
Lisanka:)

ps love his hair!!!

Lively Luckinbills said...

I was just talking to Justin about this earlier today. I am feeling a lot of anxiety about Merilee starting Kindergarten (still years away). But when I look at you and Steph and realize that your boys have grown so fast, it makes me really scared about Merilee growing just as fast. I was choking up while reading your blog because I have the same exact feelings. Probably because I want so much for my kids to live up to their potential, make good choices, and others to love them as much as I do...although no one can love them as much as their mommy. I wish Josiah luck and you too...Hang in there!!!

Andrea said...

Liberty, I love this post. You wrote it perfectly. I felt the same way and it was WAY hard when Cecily left too, but as I said yesterday and you said well in your post, you can't help but be excited for THEM to begin a new chapter in their life, and I'm especially happy to be there to see it.
I too saw Josiah yesterday and he looked like he was loving school. He is sooo cute and oh so smart. He reminds me of my "little" Ariel. So eager to learn. Oh, and Mrs. Ryall is such a sweet teacher. Trust me, she will love Josiah, who couldn't?

Ashlee said...

Lib, when my Mom told me that Josiah started kindergarten yesterday, I couldn't believe it. I got all choked up about it. I can't imagine how you felt. I'm so glad he had a great day. I said a prayer for him this morning that day 2 would be a good as the first day. He looks too cute in his uniform. The white shoes are really nice! ;) But they won't be shockingly white for too long.

Love you all!

Grammy said...

Oh Liberty, how I love you all! I know exactly how you feel. I carried a prayer in my heart all day for Jos. He is such an amazing little boy. I can't tell you how much he means to me. He has truely captured my heart. I want him to love school, his Papa told me he can't remember one bad day in school. I want that for Jos. He is so bright and eager to learn. It's all out there waiting for him. GO Josiah!!!

Nate and Julie said...

Oh, such a bittersweet time! It's exciting and sad at the same time when you realize how fast your kids grow up! Josiah looks so handsome in his uniform! I didn't know your schools out there had uniforms. Is it public school?

the Hurst's said...

oh, way to go you not so little man!!! jared and i were looking at your pics and remembering Josiah as a little tike...crazy, those life-changes are. Jose, may your remaining school days bring you much joy and learning (and may your enthusiasm for learning continue ;) congrats!!!

Charee B Mcclellan said...

he is sooooooo cute in his back pack and outfit! It's crazy to see him sooo old you little hottie!

Jill said...

How wonderful that Jos had a great first day of kindergarten. He looks really tall - is he tall for his age? What a handsome boy! Anna is in first grade this year...time is just flying by...

Alabama Apples said...

Julie- it is public school. Every school down here is in required uniform (gang prob., low income, etc.)

Jill- no, he's not tall. He's actually a little small, but he just looks that way 'cause he's leaning back against the door instead of standing up straight-it's an optical illusion. :)

Steph said...

Thank you for you post. It made my heart swell with love. I had to read and giggle through tears at your pictures...yep, white shoes...hmmm?? He still is very handsome, I must say. Your words ring so very true. Give your little-one a big hug and squeeze from his Auntie who is so very proud of him.

Brooke said...

I know you get sick of me telling you this but your life reminds me so much of mine 8 years ago. There was Jeffrey starting kindergarten AT ER Dickson never having been away from me a minute in his life. He didn't go to preschool either and went from nothign to a full day of kindergarten. He cried the first two weeks and it broke my hear to leave him but I knew that was what life was all about. I so miss the days at ER Dickson. It's a great school and I love how the kids look in their uniforms. Good luck with the separation --- and like me -- you have other boys at home to be with -- have fun!

Brooke said...

sorry for all the typos in my comments -- I'm tired

Jeff, Jenny and Pearl said...

My goodness, I can't believe you're old enough to have a kid in kindergarten! You're going to have so much free time with one less kid around now, jk! I'm sure I'll cry when Pearl gets big enough for school but it is so fun to see them learn new things isn't it?

whitney said...

What a big little man he's getting to be! He's so willing to learn all the time, so I know kindergarten will just be great for him (a little extra structure probably wouldn't hurt much either, huh ;);). He *might* figure out that he doesn't actually know everything about outerspace after all. Auntie Whitty loves you Jos and is so very, very proud of you!

PS-his white shoes are practically sparkling!

Heidi said...

oh my gosh...It's hard to believe! He is a darling boy... and you are a darling mom!