But, I went, and I tried to have fun. I did. Then I didn't. I think the grey just got to me.
A little girl, barely 2 years old and named Aubrey Lynn, came to the party with her mama. She was dainty, darling. I talked and played with her like I did the two 6 year old Dylans also at the party. The problem was, I compared her to Emmeline. I compared everything. And I got sad.
I have not had too difficult a time with Em's diagnosis. Emme is just Emme. I mean, I worry a lot of the practical things-how to get her enrolled in the training, going gluten free, etc. I worry about how I interact with her to make it be for the best benefit for her, but I didn't really, really have a difficult time. Today I cried. I got in the car when Kit and the kids picked me up and I cried. Hard. There was just so much about little Aubrey that was like Em. Her big brown eyes, the color and length of hair, her cute little jeans. She was like Emmeline...but not. Little Aubrey came right up to me and asked me to hold her (she was quite a people-comfy gal). She then asked for bites of my food, asked me what everything was, and chatted her way through the afternoon. Was she cute? Darling. Of course Emme is cuter! ;) What got to me is I compared. I spend almost all day, every day with my baby girl. I forget how typical 2 1/2 year old children act. I forget how grown up they can seem. I forget their conversation skills, their mannerisms. Being around someone so like Emmeline and so different...
So, what have I learned once I dried the tears? I learned not to compare. Because, for sure, the Lord gave me the best little girl He had for our family. She is one-in-a-kazillion. The truth is Emmeline Lili is incomparable.